Saint Priscilla

Saint Priscilla (8th of July) was thrown from a precipice, off the mountain Taigetos, by the lackeys of the Emperor Claudius in the month of May, during the year 47 D.C.

Exactly 1960 years afterwards (in fact: today) something bizarre happened near the Tahikutos ridge (part of the Kildeer mountains) in Missouri:

"ST. LOUIS, MO, May 8, 2007 - Dozens of people around the Kildeer mountains in North Dakota and Missouri claim to have seen "a flaming martyress" falling from the sky.

Kendall Tretters with the Missouri State Highway Patrol in St. Louis says people reported seeing many precipitating martyresses over a widespread area last night, including St. Louis, Cape Girardeau and Pettis County in Missouri and also near the North Dakota badlands.

Major April Cunningson, with the North American Aerospace Defense Command, or NORAD, says that a preliminary report indicates these strange 'female looking objects' came from a meteorit-like formation.

Cunningson says a pilot reported seeing a small sexy meteor with a strange golden halo, but unfortunately she could not give any more details.

Most reports described the falling objects as "bright sexy lights" or "something burning with nice, firm, tits". Several of the holy objects were seen exploding when they hit the ground.

We managed to get TWO rare holy images of Saint Priscilla, still precipitating after having been thrown into the ravine.
Click on either one to enlarge and gasp in awe! Behold the power of the holy Christ: she survived the terrible fall (yet required two years of rehabilitation).

Inside the cucumber

Many readers have asked what actually happens once a Damsel in distress, or a scantly clad Martyress, is fagocitated by a evil cucumber, poor thing.

The answer is not easy, coz whomever was actually fagocitated by a cucumber is hardly still able to facturate factual facts and/or circumstantiate circumastances anymore, duh.

There are various philosophical schools, however, and this question is the object of fiery debates.
According to Professor Doctor E.F.Leskowitz, of the Biology faculty in the Nizhny Novgorod University (Department Ethology of evil Cucurbitaceae), the young martyresses and all other scantly clad females are compelled, once fagocitated inside, to lubricate the nervous dendrils of the (mostly male) cucumbers.

Yet this interpretation is vehementely denied by H.K.Smirterhumber, of the renomed Adelaide Institute for Cucumber Researches (AICR). According to professor Smirterhumber, the victims are simply digested, their eventual pump shoes being later expelled by the evil cucumber, usually during the dry season. He points out that the daily salivary output in a healthy scantly claid female wouldn't suffice to lubricate a typical cucumbric nervous dendril for more than a couple of hours... if ever.
Recent researches prove that the average human female produces approximately 700mL of saliva per day, 800mL at most, which is much less than what would be necessary to lubricate the nervous dendrils of any average healthy cucumber. Also the genioglossus muscle of an average human female wouldn't be able to "work" (i.e.: doing its lubricating duties) longer than three or four hours at most (and only if you are really lucky).

However, and despite these worthy objections, we are now able to present a sketch and a photograph taken by Z.R.Bluwimowitch Junior, a student of Leskowitz. He was able to investigate the fagocitation of Ludmila Radchenko, snapped by a cucumber on 8 May 2007 on her way home.

These images, though contested by Smirterhumber, who belittles the ' much too plastic' pose of the photograph and the 'meaninglessness' of the sketch, seem indeed to conferm Leskowitz's theory.
Judge by yourself (if you click on the images, you'll be able to enlarge them).

Let's have some sound cucumber Taxonomy:

Kingdom Plantae -- vegetals
Subkingdom Tracheobionta -- vascular plants
Division Magnoliophyta -- angiospermes, angiosperms, phanérogames
Class Magnoliopsida -- dicots, dicotylédones, dicotyledons
Subclass Dilleniidae -- obvious, but often underestimated
Order Violales -- many forget this (to their own peril)
Family Cucurbitaceae -- citrouilles, gourdes, gourds, squashes
Genus Cucumis L. -- melon
Species Cucumis sativus L. -- garden cucumber
Tendence Evil -- bad, mauvais

More evil cucumbers: two ways to react, both doomed :-)

Ah, the evil cucumbers! What wuold YOU do if cucumbers would suddendly stalk and attack you? How would you react? That's something you should not underestimate. Listen to me: Better be prepared than sorry (estote parati).

Let's start with the second (or bottom) image (click on it to enlarge) where our "pantyhose" clothed, "french maid" posette, cannot (and should not) run away any more. Woah! She might even loose her cherished pink sandals! "La pauvre petite est bien perdue dans cette immensité de verdure!"

Maybe she'll be gone for good! Who knows what will happen next? (I do: The sturdy determination you can read on her face won't save her, I fear. Quite the contrary).

Anyway you can easily discern, here, a particularly nasty example of the many assorted parthenocarpic humiliations that such as evil as preposterous cucurbitaceae usually inflict on innocent female runners (and /or pantyhose joggers).

Now compare this stressed situation with the previous, somehow more relaxed posette, equally caught by the evil cucumbers in the same part of the perilous garden by the same surveillance camera.
This one, with her nice neo-classical almost transparent tunic (and waay more opened and relaxed legs), seems to follow the old (bogus) advice "try to resist, if you cannot, enjoy it". Maybe she's just dreaming? Oh no, unfortunately. As the sequel of these stories will show, the soft abandon you can read on her face won't save her, I fear. Quite the contrary)..

Another day, another saint Martyress: Saint Irene

I have added a new "erotic saint" to my online portfolio: Saint Irene, the Martyress of Aquileia.
You may want to check Saint Rosalia, tempted by the daemon, and Saint Bibiana, whose sad story is recalled at the bottom of this blog.

In the holy image above (click to enlarge) we contemplate Saint Irene, the virgin Martyress, already fatally wounded on the mountain top, but still mocking the impious Sisinius, while expiring nevertheless to her lord JC on the very Holy Easter. Go figure.

"Sisinius with a detachment of soldiers set off to the mountain and saw Saint Irene on its summit. For a long while they searched for the way to the top, but they could not find it. Then one of the soldiers wounded Saint Irene with an arrow from his bow. The martyress cried out to Sisinius: "I do mock thine impotent malice, and pure and undefiled I do expire to my Lord Jesus Christ". Having given up thanks to the Lord, she lay down upon the ground and gave up her spirit to God, on the very day of Holy Pascha (+ 304)"

It is worth noting that she escaped on the mountain summit because Sisinius...
...began to threaten to hand her over for defilement in an house of ill repute. But the holy martyress Irene answered: "Let my body be given over for forceful defilement, but my soul will never be defiled by renunciation of Christ".

See? Lo and behold! The Martyress Irene was ready to sacrifice her own body "for forceful defilement" in order to reserve her pure soul for her Heavenly Bridegroom: Christ, her Lord and Master, for the faith in Whom she was ready to suffer any persecution. How sweet.

About patents and copyrights and nudity

The web was created for sharing, not for hoarding and not for selling, hence you may use and reproduce the images I'm posting on this blog in any way you see fit - but you CANNOT use my images for any commercial intent or use.
These images are all under the GPL licence, and it will be easy to prove where your copies come from: on the web it is as easy to copycat as it is to debunk copycatters :-)

All of this blog's content was created ex novo by Carpazio.
Any of the poses, textures and meshes on this blog's images have been created ex novo by Carpazio (Carpazio Sculacciatopi).

Any resemblance to any other pose, or image, or texture, not created by myself, wholely or in part, is purely coincidental.

----- NUDITY -----

Please note that given the thematics we are dealing with, and the beauty of some martyresses, there might happen to be some "nudity" on this blog. If you are offended, please, by all means, go away, and, if you manage it, get a life.

----- DISCLAIMER -----

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Disclaimer published in APRIL & MAI 2007
By the blog's author Carpazio Sculacciatopi, Eagle Islands

Saint Rosalia

I have added a new 'Erotic saint' to my on-line portfolio: Saint Rosalia.

"While still very young she despised worldly vanities. When her remarkable beauty caused her to be sought in marriage by several lords of Sicily, the Blessed Virgin appeared to her and advised her to leave the world. She obeyed, taking with her only a crucifix, and her red shoes as instruments of penance. Guided by Angels, she made her first dwelling in a nearby grotto, which the snows and ices of winter concealed. She tried hard to escape the ruses of the daemon, who was continuously tempting her with false promises of unimaginable pleasure in his arms, and finally fled to a low icy cave on Mount Pellegrino, about three miles from Palermo, in sight of her paternal home, in order to triumph entirely over the deceptive maneuvers of the daemon and also over her own rather powerful instincts of naked flesh and pulsating blood"

In the holy image above we can see her resisting another nasty & daemonical corrupting attempt to her virginity.

Click on the holy image to enlarge.

Another 'erotic saint': ST. Bibiana was already present on the portfolio, at the bottom of this blog, and in this holy image can be seen, tied to a pole, patiently awaiting her own martyrdom.